Sunday, May 1, 2011

On Meeting Men While Out & About

As you’re out and about, living your life, 99% of men who talk to you are checking out the situation... they want to see your smile, see how you respond to his comment or to his smile, they want to see if your eyes light up when you turn towards him (if he’s single and looking, he wants to know if he has a chance... and if he’s taken, he wants that ego boost of knowing he’s still “got it”), and he wants to hear the sound of your voice and see what you do and say.

"How are you today" or "Hot day, isn't it?!" are often auditions, of sorts - brief and as a passing thought, but you don't see that same guy running around and talking to 20 women... you see him focus in on YOU. He is interested in one way or another.

But don't make the assumption that his interest is in getting to know you, or in asking you out... it could be interest in talking to a pretty girl as he is out running errands. He could be single and looking but prefer petite brunettes and is just practicing his game on the pretty blonde so he is prepared when he does encounter his type while out and about, etc.

But how you react to these men will partially determine what his interest level is. It's the man who gets to decide how far an interaction will go - we can only show them our best, the rest is up to them.

And, if you're not receptive, a good man won't ask you out - even if that was the reason he said hello in the first place.

I have trouble being receptive "on demand." I have to be in that mindset already and prepared for a man to approach or speak to me. Otherwise I tend to just look in his direction, maybe smile if he seems normal, and then turn my attention back to what I was doing.

I am not a spur-of-the-moment kind of girl... I am much better if a man has made me notice him, gotten the green light from me (with eye contact, smiling, body language, etc.) and then approached... even in those few seconds, I am able to prepare myself and have a receptive, flirty  attitude.

The men who have asked me out from places like fast food restaurants have approached that way... watched until I noticed and acknowledged them and indicated some interest in return, then they summoned up the courage to come over and say hello. Once I was receptive to their hello and made small talk with them, they asked for my number.

Both called right away - and they used the call to get to know me since they really knew nothing about me from talking to me a couple minutes. There was just a tiny spark and we were both deciding if anything would come of that spark or if it would just fizzle out.

The only difference between these guys and the other men who look at me but don't approach or who make small talk but don't ask me out, is that they approached in steps and let me have time to get into the right head space to be receptive, fun, and flirty.

So if you see an appealing guy looking your way, play that inviting peek-a-boo flirt game - the one where you continuously look away and smile when you catch him looking.  This allows him the time to screw up his courage and come over, and give you a little time to prepare as well.

Big things have been known to happen from such little encounters!

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