Monday, June 13, 2011

Being Beautiful, Attractive, & Sexy

90% of a woman's beauty comes from her body language and facial expression... add shiny sexy hair to that and any woman can be beautiful.

Even ugly men can be beautiful, sexy, appealing, feminine drag queens when they forgo the masculine qualities of movement and expression and take on the air of shy, demure sexuality.

And that is what most women don't realize - female sexuality doesn't thrust itself at you... it stands back and lures you over.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

On Meeting Men While Out & About

As you’re out and about, living your life, 99% of men who talk to you are checking out the situation... they want to see your smile, see how you respond to his comment or to his smile, they want to see if your eyes light up when you turn towards him (if he’s single and looking, he wants to know if he has a chance... and if he’s taken, he wants that ego boost of knowing he’s still “got it”), and he wants to hear the sound of your voice and see what you do and say.

"How are you today" or "Hot day, isn't it?!" are often auditions, of sorts - brief and as a passing thought, but you don't see that same guy running around and talking to 20 women... you see him focus in on YOU. He is interested in one way or another.

But don't make the assumption that his interest is in getting to know you, or in asking you out... it could be interest in talking to a pretty girl as he is out running errands. He could be single and looking but prefer petite brunettes and is just practicing his game on the pretty blonde so he is prepared when he does encounter his type while out and about, etc.

But how you react to these men will partially determine what his interest level is. It's the man who gets to decide how far an interaction will go - we can only show them our best, the rest is up to them.

And, if you're not receptive, a good man won't ask you out - even if that was the reason he said hello in the first place.

I have trouble being receptive "on demand." I have to be in that mindset already and prepared for a man to approach or speak to me. Otherwise I tend to just look in his direction, maybe smile if he seems normal, and then turn my attention back to what I was doing.

I am not a spur-of-the-moment kind of girl... I am much better if a man has made me notice him, gotten the green light from me (with eye contact, smiling, body language, etc.) and then approached... even in those few seconds, I am able to prepare myself and have a receptive, flirty  attitude.

The men who have asked me out from places like fast food restaurants have approached that way... watched until I noticed and acknowledged them and indicated some interest in return, then they summoned up the courage to come over and say hello. Once I was receptive to their hello and made small talk with them, they asked for my number.

Both called right away - and they used the call to get to know me since they really knew nothing about me from talking to me a couple minutes. There was just a tiny spark and we were both deciding if anything would come of that spark or if it would just fizzle out.

The only difference between these guys and the other men who look at me but don't approach or who make small talk but don't ask me out, is that they approached in steps and let me have time to get into the right head space to be receptive, fun, and flirty.

So if you see an appealing guy looking your way, play that inviting peek-a-boo flirt game - the one where you continuously look away and smile when you catch him looking.  This allows him the time to screw up his courage and come over, and give you a little time to prepare as well.

Big things have been known to happen from such little encounters!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Hollywood hates women!

When I saw Knocked Up, I couldn't believe the things they did to the female leads in this movie. First they have super skinny Katherine Heigl being told to lose 20 lbs! She is probably about 18% body fat - if that, and her character is being told she's too big for television.

Then, the actress who is playing her sister is told she is too old to get into a club... and the woman is only 34!

Sheesh... what is up with that?

Maybe Hollywood should go back to the original way acting was done when women weren't allowed on the stage. Female parts were played by boys! Then they won't have to worry about a women having hips or being in her 30's... just a bunch of feminine-looking teenage boys with padded bras taking over all the female roles.

Another thing I find shocking is that in the modeling world, the girls in Victoria's Secret catalogue are considered too big for the runway. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic. Here are women - very thin women, with hips and breasts and the very fact that they actually look like women makes them *fat* in the modeling world! Yet scrawny little men like Brad Pitt - who I hear wears a size 6 dress, get to play strong warriors. In reality, sensitive little Brad would get his butt kicked in a street fight... he wouldn't be the bravest fighter ever. The same goes for Johnny Depp.

Yet Hollywood wants us to see these men as big, strong alpha males... while women like Katherine Heigl are seen as FAT and Leslie Mann is seen as OLD!

Women should absolutely NOT get their ideas about what is and isn't beautiful from Hollywood. Famous actresses are paid big bucks - often millions, to keep their unrealistic figures. They are a product... they are expected to show up as thin as possible and to fit into their wardrobe.

But their looks are not representative of what the average male expects from a woman. Sure it's always good to look and feel your best, but don't let anyone tell you you're fat when you're not, nor that you are old when you're not. For that matter, don't let anyone give you these labels at all. There are fit and muscular women weighing 200 lbs running marathons, and there are healthy and youthful 60-somethings who love to go out dancing.

Make the most of what you have, just be the best YOU - don't try to be Angelina, don't worry if your butt doesn't look like JLo's, or if you can't work out as much as Madonna. These women are products and they have a job to do. And, as anyone who's ever picked up a tabloid, their lives are far from perfect. It's all smoke and mirrors anyway.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Femininity: How To Be More Feminine

We've all heard men complaining about modern women, and how they just aren't feminine anymore... as well as the misogynistic rantings about "femi-nazis" and praise for the women of Asia and Russia and men seeking mail order brides. It seems like the fact that women have careers is what has changed them, but I don't believe this is the case. It's that femininity has been equated with weakness... which, in turn, is equated with losers. So many signs of womanhood are quashed or hidden.

Let's get one thing straight - Femininity is not about being weak!

Witness any child being born and you will see just how powerful a woman's body is; both mentally and physically. My own labor experience was 37 and a half hours long. And as excruciatingly  painful and exhausting the delivery was, my body was on it's way to healing itself after just a few hours of sleep.

On the flip side, I'm sure we've all seen the men in our lives turn into whiny babies at the first sign of the sniffles. And who do they turn to? Not to their fathers or their buddies... but to their wives, girlfriends and even mothers. Because men know the healing power of the feminine touch. And the strength of a woman's love.

I was reading a men's forum and saw several comments from guys who were lamenting the loss of the feminine - that the girls they know were becoming more and more like their guy friends.  One said, "Women are now seen as objects rather than soulmates - someone to go to bed with, rather than to love and marry."

Others chimed in and agreed that they'd like to see more women embrace their femininity, and that when a girl is ladylike, she inspires them to be gentlemen. And it made me realize that, no matter how often we hear this from men: No one knows what it means when women are told to be "more feminine." 

What it means to be a woman, or to be ladylike, or to be feminine has become a distorted message - from movies, magazines, the Girls Gone Wild culture, music videos and shows like Jersey Shore.

People think it means being super hot - being very thin with a gym body and six pack abs... looking very young, being sexually aggressive - like a Pussy Cat Doll... seducing with their "come undo my buttons" attitude.

It's also become synonymous with the surgically attained Barbie look of fish lips injections, giant breast implants and most recently vaginal reconstruction. And those few fleeting moments of perfection that disappear in the blink of an eye.

When what femininity really is is a softness... sweetness, understanding, vulnerability, nurturing, receptivity, sassiness, self-respect, innocence, morals, priorities, etc.

When men write wistfully about wanting women to be more feminine... it's become necessary for them to spell it out and specify exactly what it is modern women are lacking and so many men are longing for.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What it means to be a gentleman

So many guys don't like being referred to as gentlemen... as if it means something negative. As if it takes away from their tough-guy reputation. Or as if being a gentleman would make them look like they think they are better than anyone else. Yet call a man a HERO and he will stand tall and beam with pride that you have acknowledged something admirable he has done. What many men don't seem to realize is that being a gentleman means living your life in a heroic manner and do good deeds every day. 

Most women want Superman, but I know Clark Kent is the real catch! 

A gentleman is just a regular guy - with the heart of a superhero.

Monday, March 7, 2011


Over the years, whenever I've flipped through fashion magazines, the most feminine and appealing outfits have always been those in the ads for pantyhose! Half the time, I'd be wishing the skirt or dress or heels in the ad was also for sale. While the weird clothes that passed for fashion were not only overpriced but not that attractive. Plus they were out of style in a season or two, while the women in the pantyhose ads wore classic items that would last forever!

This beautiful red coat could be worn today - even though it's from a vintage ad:

This white dress would look just as beautiful if worn today:

This Sheer Energy ad from 1974 could be run today... although I'm sure prices have gone way up since then

I'm gonna guess this ad is from the early 80's since I had a similar dress in '81... wish I still had it:

All these outfits are classic, yet this is an ad for clothing, using girls who look like junkies:

And here are some fashion layouts that are for sale:

Would you walk around looking like this?:

Or this?:

These "fashion merkins" are an absolute embarrassment!:

So next time you are flipping through a fashion magazine, make sure to take a good look at the pantyhose ads... you just might find that the model's outfit is actually much more fashionable than any of the weird and wacky trends being so heavily promoted.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Being Receptive

Being receptive is about patience and the inner grace of being at ease right where you are. Looking comfortable in your surroundings - any surroundings, is very attractive. Confidence is an aphrodisiac.

If you look tired or anxious, people will stay away so as not to bother you. So, when hoping to meet someone, it's very important to send out the message that being approached is what you DESIRE and NOT a bother!

This can be done anywhere - I've met several boyfriends while in my car! And gone on dates with men I've met at fast food restaurants. Men getting gas at the pump next to me, shopping at Walmart, and even in the dollar store, have asked me out.

Now before you start assuming I'm some great beauty who has men falling at her feet, let me assure you that this is not the case. Nor am I particularly young or thin. I've simply learned the techniques that alert men to the fact that I am single and looking. While also looking confident and pleasant. That's all most men need to see to screw up their courage to say hello.

That is what being receptive boils down to - giving men a chance, an opening, an invitation to enjoy your presence.

Any man who is single and looking is on alert, watching for this signal, so he can make his move.

As I said, I'm no great beauty, but I do make the effort to always look my best. But that is also part of being confident - being secure enough to treat yourself well. Not trying to blend in and discourage attention, but to INVITE it!

Therefore, put on something pretty, do your hair and makeup, and wear a pleasant, happy expression, as you go about your life... and people will be drawn to you, wherever you are.